Oral Fixations: Eating to Taste Good

salad

It’s true what they say: you are what you eat. Our diets have an incredible impact on every aspect of our lives. Lots of fresh fruits and vegetables make us feel like energetic little kids, radiating positivity and eagerness for life. We develop a glow and look extra svelte. Too many sweets provide a brief thrill, but result in exhaustion, breakouts, and too much jiggle.

But what about our sex lives? Kids, the time has come for the title of this column to get the reverence it deserves. Oral sex. Woohoo!

Oral is just the best. It’s an …

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Table for Two: Cohabitation Survival Guide

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These cereal boxes…

These boxes, which have been empty for months and are therefore no longer cereal boxes, are not your problem. Considering how easy it would be to just throw them away, their constant presence on your boyfriend’s desk in his dorm room might annoy you, yes, but they are not really your problem.

Hypothetically, say you love and live with the sole owner of these empty boxes but only rarely use the desk they clutter. Are they your problem now? They’re part of your shared space, and they annoy you. You can’t help it. Are they 50% your problem? 25%? Do you have a right to be annoyed or should you just get over it? Do you and your BF agree on the solution to this cereal situation? The answer is more important than you think.

After two years of living with the aforementioned cardboard delinquent, I’ve found this inner monologue applies to a number of topics, both trivial and consequential. Agreeing on answers to “Is this my problem, your problem or our problem?” is one of the trickiest parts of co-habitation, and an issue that many people fail to consider.

The main course of our co-habiting relationship is made of laughter, TV cuddling and good times. To that main course we have a side of lengthy discussion (aka arguments). Like a small side, like a tablespoon of potato salad. Here are a few things that have helped us whittle down the lengthy discussion (aka arguments) from that deli quart of goopy slosh to a modest, infrequent helping of the mayo-laden frustration.

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Oral Fixations: Awkward Eating Noises

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We’ve all been there: you come across an enticing food item, maybe a piece of perfectly ripe fruit, or a decadent chocolate dessert. You take a bite. You close your eyes in ecstasy. You allow the food to linger on your tongue, and then it happens. You feel it sneak up. You can’t hold it back.

You experience a foodgasm. You moan in delight, and quite frankly it sounds like you’re gettin’ it on.

Everyone around you is uncomfortable, but you’re experiencing too much bliss to notice! Can anything be done about this sudden outburst of tastebud pleasure? Should

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Table for Two: Consider Food a Journey

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I’m going to admit it right now: when I meet someone, then get to know them a little better, one of the things that comes to the forefront of my mind is food. You may be picturing me standing there, oblivious to chatting, with only a cheeseburger craving on my mind. No, it’s not like that. I mean, their food. Their food history, their experiences, their likes and dislikes. I’m not performing a secret food-background check on everyone I meet, either. Call it…the anticipatory excitement concerning the potential for a food journey? Something like that.

Growing up, I’ve always …

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Oral Fixations: Body Image for Foodies

Just a casual Sunday night crêpe cake

Foodie life is rough, y’all. All we do is eat, cook, talk about food, and purchase food. It’s a life of intense hedonism, but someone’s gotta do it.

However, sometimes that hedonism takes over our self-control. We find ourselves eating five too many Nutella cinnamon pancakes and neglecting the yoga mats in the corner of our room. Our jeans get a bit tighter, but maybe we just left them in the dryer for too long? Besides, we’re too busy pursuing our passion to be concerned with portion control. Or so we tell ourselves.

Sometimes, however, our passion gets in the …

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Table for Two: Thursdate Do-It-Together Dessert Party

My fiancé and I love eat out. It’s probably our favorite couples activity aside from lounging around in our pajamas during all-day movie marathons (I confess, we are lazy weekenders!). I think part of the reason we both chose New York City (he for employment, me for college) had to do with the food scene. Don’t get me wrong, our home-town of Nashville hosts its own bevy of lick-your-plate delicious restaurants, but for variety in cuisine, well, there is no city in the world like New York for that! I think we both imagined life in New York to be …

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Oral Fixations: Men Should Cook

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Things that keep me up at night: the world’s best chefs are men, but I don’t know a single man who cooks.

Well, maybe a few. But not enough. Most guys are what my roommates and I call “Toast People.” They live off toast, because they don’t know how to make anything else. Or they subsist on things out of boxes, or takeout, or fast food, or the occasional restaurant meal.

Does it worry anyone else?

In general, Americans have lost sight of what it means to eat a real meal. We’ve eschewed whole foods and pure ingredients …

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How To: Navigate A Double Date

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In December, when I was still studying abroad in France, my best friend Emilie (who is French) came to visit me at the end of my program. We went to Marmande, France, where her grandparents live. The last thing I thought we would be filling our days with was a double date. Initially, I was excited when Emilie told me about the idea. But then I realized that I was going on a date with two young French men who spoke very little English, and since I have the French speaking skills of a five year old, I had …

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Table for Two: Cheese Fondue

Fondue

When I think back to my most romantic dinner date, I must say that it was a cheese fondue dinner in Zurich, Switzerland. I was in Switzerland for a brief moment on my way to Italy while my boyfriend at the time was studying in Germany and took a weekend trip to Zurich. We met up for a romantic day strolling through the city and sampling Zurich’s delicious cuisine.

We spent nearly the entire 24 hours walking through small and windy streets, up and down cobble stone hills, and in and out of local museums. By the time the …

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Oral Fixations: Talk Foodie To Me

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ATTENTION! Here is how to get into any food-lover’s pants:

Last semester I became acquainted with a fascinating fellow. On our first date it became apparent that we didn’t have much in common aside from a love of animals and culturally insensitive jokes. However, we soon struck common ground with a worship of good vegetarian food. This was a wonderful discovery, because quite frankly I don’t trust people who cannot appreciate a delicious meal. I have a theory that there’s a certain element lacking in their soul. That is to say, they cannot comprehend any sort of passionate, spontaneous indulgence. …

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